she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
