As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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