think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
