I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize