i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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