we have officially lost it.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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