i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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