Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
