Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
