If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
