Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
