a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Such a big mess for such a small penis
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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