Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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