Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
