Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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