My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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