Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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