i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
