I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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