So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
