just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We need a shit load of segways right now
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize