counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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