i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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