Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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