Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
