We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
