Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Randomize
