So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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