I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
