He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
