I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize