I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
