I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
