Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
