did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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