I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
