At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
