cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
