how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
