I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
