I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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