i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
