i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
