I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
