I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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