I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
