I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
