I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
