i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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