Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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