Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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