he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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