A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I want her autograph on my taint
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
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