he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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