Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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