so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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