If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My penis needs a shock collar
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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